Welcome to the Nov 2003
NYNVC Newsletter

If you're tired of the "language" of NVC, and want more

effectiveness expressing yourself, try this on for size! 

 

Connecting more fully to the deep feeling place of our longings,

our needs, our desires - connecting with this place of deep

heart-connection - brings natural authenticity to our words

and decreases the likelyhood that we will sound formulaic or stilted.

 

Here's an exercise to support "being" over "doing":

 

1. Identify a moment where you tried using NVC and

considered it "too formulaic".

 

2. What was your need?  If you can't guess it, try looking at a

needs inventory sheet (you can download one from nynvc.org)

 

3.  Now take a moment, breathe, and feel the longing of

wanting that need.  Feel how much you yearn for this need. 

Feel into the tenderness of how we all share this need;

feel into how deeply you ache(s) for this need. You just

want it!  If your thoughts drift, bring your focus gently back to

simply sitting with the yearning for the need.

 

4. Do this until you notice a shift in your body, in your breath,

or in your emotions.  (ex: angry shifted to sadness; irritation

shifted to grief; dispair shifted to a bit of inner calm),

 

5. Once you feel a shift, NOW choose what feeling, need,

and request you'd like to share.  Keep it simple.  Ex:

"I'm frustrated.  I so want space and rest.  Can we sit together

silently for 10 minutes?"

 

6. Before you speak, check with your heart.  Are you about

to speak from the feeling space of your longing?  Or, do you feel

yourself getting back into disconnection as you think of what to

say? If you're not fully feeling the space of your heart, go

back to #3.  TAKE YOUR TIME.

 

By choosing our words or actions FROM a deep space of

needs-consciousness, and while opening our hearts to the

beauty of our needs, the quality of our expression can shift

from a more stiff, intellectual expression to a more real, human,

alive expression.

 

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QUOTE OF THE MONTH

"...So I threw myself into a yoga pose

but I was so out of shape I could not reach my toes.

I bent over backwards, painfully, to touch the ground.

In a downward dog I made some #$%^ed-up sounds.

I wanted to run, I wanted to fight...she said,

In your hamstrings is the secret of life..."

- Marca Cassity, "The New Age Institution" from The Blue Door CD

(Marca Cassity is a spiritual folk/blues artist currently living in CA

and studying NVC in the Bay area.  To purchase her CD, or for

more information about her work: http://www.marcacassity.com )

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GIVE THE GIFT OF NVC FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Has NVC made a difference in your life? Have you been wondering what
meaningful gifts you can give others this year?

We would like to invite you, in this coming holiday season, to
consider sharing the beauty, power and vision of NVC with your family,
friends, colleagues, and others to whom you give during this time. 

 

NYNVC now offers gift certificates toward upcoming workshops. 

Your $25 or $50 gift certificate will support spreading the word about

how this process can transform our relationships with ourselves, others,
and our world. You may bring hope and skills to people who could use
them to face the challenges in their lives.

 

As you imagine who may enjoy this particular gift, consider:

· Yourlife partner, close family members, and friends with whom you
want to deepen connection.

· Your colleagues, co-workers, boss or employees with whom you would
like to share a work environment that meets your needs for care,
consideration, support, and joy.

· Your child's teacher, your physician, your therapist, or anyone else
you want to thank for their contributions to your life.

· Couples you know who would like to increase the level of trust,
intimacy and connection in their relationship

· Parents you know who want a deeper connection with their children.

 

Gift certificate purchases go toward supporting NVC growth and

events in the area.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

We have many new and exciting events coming up.
Find out the event/s that excite you. For a full
description of an event, please see www.nynvc.org .

Communicating with Compassion:

a 2.5hr evening intro to NVC
Wednesday, Dec 3  7-9:30PM
Registration at 6:30pm

TRS - 44 E 32nd 11th floor, NYC
$40-$25 (no one turned away for lack of funds,

please call 914.882.9667 for info)

Dancing in Compassion:

 

• Be heard and understood?
• Respond differently when you’re angry?
• Strengthen your relationships at home, in love, at work?
• End power struggles and heal unresolved issues?