(this email is sent to friends and people
interested in NVC - this month's newsletter is a ONE TIME mailing only.)
Here's what this month's newsletter has to offer:
1. About this Newsletter
2. "Hi!" from Gail
3. Key distinction of the month - Choice vs/ Submission or Rebellion
4. NYNVC Recommends...
5. Quote of the month
6. Upcoming events INVITATIONS!
7. What is NVC?
8. New community feedback
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ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER - Welcome!
In this newsletter you'll find keys to deepen your NVC study
and practice, as well as information about upcoming
opportunities to NVC in community! Let's play! What
would *you* like to see in this newsletter?
Newsletter Archives Now Online!
Would you like to see past issues of the Newsletter? Go to:
http://www.nynvc.org/newsletters
Would you like others to know about your NVC event?
Post your event FREE at the Yahoo group EastCoastNVC (go to Yahoo,
login, click GROUPS, then search for EastCoastNVC, click the group,
then JOIN.)
Would you like your offering shared in the newsletter?
Humorous quotes sought!
Email your funny quote + a 20-25 word description of your offering,
including a link where we can find more information, to:
info@nynvc.org
Would you like your business advertised in the newsletter?
Event Locations and Coordinators sought!
Receive free advertising in exchange for hosting NVC event(s)!
============================================
MESSAGE FROM GAIL -
Well everyone, this is our last newsletter ever -- hehe April Fool's!!!
Spring is beginning to bloom -
Marshall's will be here in just a few days!
The Peace Is Possible Campaign is launching!
The community combining Deida + NVC is growing!
New TeleCircles are getting started!
The sun is out, it's a fabulous moment to celebrate!
This month my inner work is around supporting myself and others
to step into our full power - what are the edges that are "taboo"
for us? What habitual beliefs, rules, and stories do we tell
ourselves
that keep us from living as fulfilled as we'd like to live? What would
be available to us if we find ways to embrace what is precious about
these rules *and* open ourselves to greater possibilities?
With this in mind, I'd like to send out some love (in whatever form
you'd like to join me in giving it - visions of support, prayers, or just
a moment of well-wishes) to friends in the NVC community who are
stepping more and more into edges and abilities they previously
thought impossible, or didn't even imagine at all: Dorothy, sharing
NVC with parents and children in the school where her daughter
attends; Nellie, stepping into her leadership abilities while helping to
manage Marshall's visit; Rebecca, mastering choosing from her bliss
and learning to more ease-fully honor the yes by saying no sometimes;
Leela, stepping into the songstress and healer that she is, and so many
others...
And I'm excited to share that - with the help of Lynn McMullen (CNVC's
Resource Generation Advisor), I am actually learning how to have a
delightful relationship with money and fundraising! To share my joy,
I'd like to invite you to come-out-and-play with me in the Peace Is Possible
Campaign. This campaign, which will support CNVCs ability to KEEP
sharing NVC and bringing Marshall's gift to children and communities
around the world, is aimed at connecting with people eager to share love
by becoming a monthly donor.
You'd enjoy the the Campaign if one or more of these intrigues you:
- I got a chance to heal old money wounds and learned ways to
attract abundance (we work in buddy groups, supporting each other)
- I love the "secret spy mission" of helping de-taboo-ize the
subject
of money in our culture, to liberate more flow of joyful, delicious giving --
and here I get to do it while sharing peace with countries and children who'd
not receive it otherwise.
- I want to gift my gratitude back to Marshall, and giving 3-6 hours
of my time is a delightful way to do it
- It's FUN - I'm actually learning how fundraising and asking for
money can be an opportunity to connect, support healing in others, and
to cultivate love.
Does any of this pique your curiosity? If so, please join me and
- become a donor yourself
AND/OR
- join our team to play together while connecting with new donors
For more info, please email Lynn McMullen at:
lynnmcmullen@hungersummit.org
What other edges would YOU like to take on and find and spread
more fun, more freedom, and more joy? I invite you to join me
in spending this month stretching our wings and sharing our light and
deepest gifts with everyone around us!
Playfully,
Gail
============================================
KEY DISTINCTION OF THE MONTH
Choice vs/ Submission or Rebellion; also, Full Choice
Do ya ever say "yes" when you wish you hadn't?
Do you ever say "no" from a place of resentment or anger?
Do you ever say "yes", or "no", and then feel guilty about
it?
How can we reach more choiceful choices? In
Compassionate Communication (tm), the concept of "choice"
takes on a whole new meaning.
Imagine living so that each time you make a choice:
a.) you're choosing absolutely and only from bliss
b.) your choices are life-serving, rather than life-alienated
c.) each choice comes from a place of inner peace, calm, and
self-connected joy, rather than from reaction
Want to know more? I hope these tidbits will help!
DUCK METER - Choosing from my bliss
1. Think about the last time you said "yes" to doing something
for someone else, but felt guilty about it and didn't really want
to do it.
2. What was your "duck meter" when you said "yes"?
What's a "duck meter"? Rank yourself on a scale of 0-10 -- if
10
is the degree of bliss and joy that a child might feel while feeding
a hungry duck, and 0 is, er, not happy with this at all, then where
would you rank the joy you felt when you said "yes"? (thank
you
Judith Lasater for teaching me how to tune into my "duck-meter")
3. Make a promise to yourself that each time someone makes a
request of you, you'll take 3 breaths before you speak, check
your "duck meter", check in with what needs you'd meet or not
meet by saying "yes", and ONLY say "yes" if the duck
meter
ranks 8 or higher!
How would your life experience shift if you took on this
"duck meter" practice?
LIFE-SERVING vs/ LIFE-ALIENATED CHOICES
1. Imagine a choice you said "yes" to, that you were at
odds about.
2. What were the needs NOT getting attended to by
your choice to say "yes"? (For a list of universal
needs, go to
3. What were the needs that you were TRYING to meet by
saying "yes"?
4. Imagine (or ask a few friends) - were there other strategies
you may have pursued to honor both #2 and #3? There are
always 10,000 strategies, sometimes we just have a "crisis of
imagination".
THE COST OF SUBMISSION
Let's define "submission" as the act of agreeing to do what
someone else wants while putting our own needs aside.
What are some of the reasons we give ourselves and others
that encourage submission?
- "Do it because I'm your parent and I said so!"
- "I have to because my boss told me to."
- "I have to if I want to keep peace around here!"
Can you think of others?
What's the cost of submission to us and to our families, our
culture, our world? By choosing submission, we stifle a part
of our own lives, a part of our full aliveness. By submitting,
we model (and inadvertently teach) others that submission is
acceptable, that it's common and normal for people to give up
on what is important to them in order to suit someone else's
needs.
What about others? What do we want them to do, and what are
the motives we want them to do it for? By taking "yes" for an
answer even when we sense that the "yes" is out of submission,
we cultivate a relationship of resentment and decaying trust.
Then what do we have? Resentful teenagers, apathetic
employees, can you think of more results of submission?
I playfully invite us to "not take yes for an answer", to really
look
at our and others choices, and explore what needs we're meeting
(or not meeting) in those choices. Let's quit "should"ing
all over
ourselves!
By connecting with the needs behind our and others' choices,
we can turn a life-alienated choice into a life-serving one.
THE PENDULUM
I don't know about you, but I really pride myself in being
"self-determined", in being "choiceful" about how I
live. But
are there ever times when we imagine we're coming from full
choice, when really we're not?
1. Recall a time you said "no" as an act of rebellion.
(No! I will
NOT do this exercise!!!)
2. What were some of the thoughts behind your feeling of
rebelliousness?
- "Screw you, I'm not going to do this no matter what."
- Revenge - "If I say no you'll pay! Muuaaahahahaaaa"
- "I will NOT give up on what I want!"
- something else?
3. Try this on for size:
Submission = "I have to say yes."
Rebelling = "I have to say no."
From your state of rebellion, did you feel equally as delighted
to say "yes"? If "full choice" coming from a state
of, "I have
equal ease to say either yes or no", then a rebellious act is
coming from reaction (to anger, pain, or a desire for something
else) rather than coming from full choice.
To cultivate powerful action, reach for clarity about the needs
that are leading the rebelliousness. What would it take to say
"yes" to this thing I'm rebelling against, AND also bring me care
for the needs *I* have on the table?
Shall we explore further? I know I could write for days! But for
now, I will "choose" to wrap up this article.
============================================
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
The
greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his
life simply by altering his attitude of mind.
-- William James
============================================
NYNVC Recommends:
David Deida - Omega May 20-23.
Rhinebeck NY
The Sexual Body and the Yoga of Light
I have studied and practiced David's work
in tandem with NVC,
and love the way David's body- and
heart-opening practices
wonderfully compliment NVC study.
If you have desires to:
- deepen your intimacy
- attract and keep the kinds of relationships you want
- experience the merging of spirituality and intimacy
then register for this Omega workshop (tell
them NYNVC sent you)
or find more information www.bluetruth.org
I'll be there, I highly recommend this
tantalizing experience!!! -- Gail
Deepening My Inner Power thru Integral Coaching -
Looking for deeper transformation? Free phone consultation.
Lift Integral Coaching
Toll-free 1.877.535.5438
Loran Lobdell, The Yoga Studio - Califon NJ
"Come further your connection to personal awareness
and improve your health and vitality as well!"
An NVCer, Loran teaches Ashtanga vinyasa yoga, a physically
demanding form of hatha yoga that combines stretching, strength
training, and controlled breathing. Cultivate a strong body and mind,
face
life with greater ease and openness.
The Alok Holistic Health Center offers support for
body-mind-spirit growth and well being through nutrition
counseling, live-food classes, meditations, yoga, reiki,
massage, holistic parties and events, retreats in exotic
locations, and lots of celebration. For more information visit:
http://www.alokhealth.com
============================================
UPCOMING EVENTS -
We have many new and fun events coming up.
TELECIRCLES - NOW FORMING
CANADA, CA, HAWAII, EVERYONE WELCOME!
- Negotiate difficult issues with ease!
- Integrate key NVC skills! Deepen your understanding!
- Master the 40 Key Distinctions!
To be included, please email your DAY / TIME availabilities to
info@nynvc.org
NEW JERSEY - DANCING IN COMPASSION:
a 2 day Beginner weekend
Saturday April 3 and Sun April 4
Califon, NJ
REGISTRATION & INFO:
NYC - MARSHALL'S BACK!!!!
For only the 2nd time in over 20 years, we'd like
to welcome to NYC the founder of Nonviolent Communication,
*** Dr. Marshall Rosenberg! April 12-18. ***
Flyer attached. For registration information, call
If you're not already on our invitation list, please also
email
info@nynvc.org with your email
address and
phone number so that you can be included in updates!
COMMUNICATING WITH HEART-
a 2-hour NVC introduction -
Tuesday May 4th, 7:30pm - NJ
Association of Higher Awareness
Call Carol Tokar 908.630.9020 before 5/1
or Lew 973.509.7376 after 5/1
MASSACHUSETTS - COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION
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WHAT IS NVC?
Would you like to -
Be heard and understood?
Respond differently when you’re angry?
Strengthen your relationships at home, in love, at work?
End power struggles and heal unresolved issues?
"Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective
tools to foster health and relationships. This work
connects soul-to-soul, creating a lot of healing."
-- Deepak Chopra, "How to Know God"
"One word that came up ... - Clarity."
-- Venkat G., MD, Manhattan
============================================
NEW COMMUNITY FEEDBACK
"At your workshop I finally found a way to
communicate with
my husband - I like myself much better using NVC.
Thank you!"
SL, New Jersey
Would you like your feedback included?
============================================
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