(this email is sent by geography; if you are
not on the East Coast, please send your geographical information to info@nynvc.org
and we'll update immediately!)
Here's what this month's newsletter has to offer:
1. About this Newsletter
2. "Hi!" from Gail
3. Key distinction of the month - Self Empathy vs/ Repressing, Wallowing, etc.
4. NYNVC Recommends...
5. Quote of the month
6. Upcoming events INVITATIONS!
7. What is NVC?
8. New community feedback
============================================
ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER - Welcome!
In this newsletter you'll find keys to deepen your NVC study
and practice, as well as information about upcoming
opportunities to NVC in community! Let's play! What
would *you* like to see in this newsletter?
Would you like others to know about your NVC event?
Post your event FREE at the Yahoo group EastCoastNVC (go to Yahoo,
login, click GROUPS, then search for EastCoastNVC, click the group,
then JOIN.)
Would you like your offering shared in the newsletter?
Humorous quotes sought!
Email your funny quote + a 20-25 word description of your offering,
including a link where we can find more information, to:
info@nynvc.org
Would you like your business shared in the newsletter?
Event Locations sought!
Receive free advertising in exchange for hosting our event(s)!
============================================
MESSAGE FROM GAIL -
Goooooooood March Everyone!
Marshall's coming back to NY, dooo dahhh, doooo dahhhh : )
I'm excited about his April visit marching ever closer! In preparation,
intro workshops are available, listed below, and posted on the website
as soon as I have them. I'm also available for private phone sessions.
If you would like to create an event you can reach me at
914.882.9667
My personal work this month is in noticing how precious my family
and parents are to me - my heart goes out to Mary, Maya, Thom,
Judith, and other NVC friends whose parents are marching into their
own transitions, and the pain this sometimes stimulates. Do we really
only appreciate what we've got when it's gone? Is family where we
first learn NVC topics like interconnectedness and ever-enduring
unconditional love? I'd like to take a moment to celebrate the gift
of my parents, their love, and parents' love worldwide. Will you
join me?
In other news, I'm excited to share that I have a new project on
the burner, a project to bring NVC consciousness to tens of
thousands across the US, radiating out to possibly millions of
lives across the world. Would you like to be included? Wanna
come out and play? Ask me about it! Next steps include:
1. connecting with people with marketing experience and
2. creating a viable business model that will enable us to tithe money
and free workshops to children worldwide. Shall we set up a
conference call to share ideas ?
If there was ONE 15-minute task you could do today that would
lift your heart, inspire you, or fuel your soul, what would it be?
With appreciation, smiles, warmth,
Gail
============================================
KEY DISTINCTION OF THE MONTH
Self-empathy vs/ Acting out, repressing, or wallowing in feelings
Would you like a 30-second tool for regaining your center
in any emotionally charged moment?
Self-empathy can bring relief, self-connection, and ease to
an otherwise heated conversation -- in a matter of seconds!
In Compassionate Communication (tm), classic "giraffe"
self-empathy may include:
a.) Hearing "the jackal show" - instead of being run by our
thoughts, try a detached witnessing of the judgements,
evaluations, criticisms, self-talk, analyses, or labels run through
us in a heated moment. This "witnessing", observing the
thoughts
rather than getting caught up in them, can open up a channel for
self-connection that won't happen if we tell ourselves, "I should not
be thinking this way."
b.) Connecting with the feelings these thoughts stir up in me. By
identifying the emotions that are alive in us behind the thoughts, we
begin a cycle of self-connection, self-hearing, and presence.
c.) Translating the "jackal show" to the universal needs that
are aching to be attended to and heard. What is the yearning
behind the judgement, "that kid is a pest"? A yearning for
peace?
Space? Consideration? For each judgement, what's the need
behind the thought?
d.) Sitting with the need. What we resist persists. Go walk
in the rain without an umbrella and "try" not to get wet. Can
you
imagine the tension we create by trying not to feel uncomfortable?
Now, imagine relaxing into the rain and playing in it, enjoying it.
Likewise, opening our hearts to feel the aching of our needs liberates
us from the pain of the moment.
Try it for yourself! Experience a shift in as little as four breaths
by trying this exercise:
- Take your first deep breath. Write down a judgement.
Ex: He's being a jerk.
Ex: She shouldn't have done that.
- Take your second deep breath. Write down the emotion
that you feel as you think this thought
Ex: anger
Ex: disappointment
- Take your third deep breath. Identify the universal need,
the thing you're most aching for, separate from a person,
place, action, time, or object
Ex: partnership
Ex: ease
(for a sample list of universal needs, go to nynvc.org and click
INVENTORY on the left)
- Now, like a mantra, breathe in the aching, the yearning, the longing
for this need. This is different than sitting with how you feel about
not getting your need met. Instead, it's about opening yourself to
the pain of the yearning, to grieve and mourne what a bummer the
moment feels like by focusing on how much you ACHE for the need
that wants to be attended to. It may support you to "sit with the
need"
by repeating the phrase:
I so ache for...
I so want...
I yearn for ...
I really need ...
Remember to de-globalize the pain - this is about "right now":
Ex: I'm so bummed - I so ache for partnership and it's not happening
right now....I need partnership. I really want partnership. I so
ache
for partnership....
Ex: I'm so frustrated - I really want ease and it's just not happening
right this minute...I yearn for ease. I really want ease. Oh man I
so
desperately ache for ease...
After these 4 breaths, do a status check with yourself. How do you
feel having "sat with your need"?
If you felt the yearning in your body, within 30 seconds you may feel
a "shift" - anger will soften to sadness or mourning, or irritation
will
soften into a peaceful calm. Did you experience a shift?
If not, try another 2 breaths of sitting with the need. Feel into it, not just
an intellectual thing, but feel it in your body. Where does this
yearning
sit? In your gut? In your heart? Deeply open yourself to let
the emotion
wash through you.
Unresisted, emotions will shift (on average) in about 9 seconds.
This kind of self-empathy is different from wallowing (sitting with how
the need is "not met not met not met"), which restimulates the pain
rather than metabolizing it.
And self-empathy is different from repressing (not letting myself
experience the emotion). It's about allowing ourselves to BE
with our experience, rather than talking ourselves out of it. The
radical alternative here is to enjoy our pain, rather than avoiding
it. Our pain is a signal to a need that wants attending to. That's
all.
Self-empathy is also not about acting out - we're not taking action
in the world to avoid the pain or to react against it, instead, it's
about
opening our self-connection.
By sitting with our own needs for 30 seconds, we ATTEND to the
need. Letting the need be heard and recognized often brings
a relief, a softening, and a centered groundedness that will
empower us to choose far more powerfully - to speak and act
from the strength and knowing of our human yearning, yearnings
that we all share - rather than to act or speak from the weakened
position of anger.
============================================
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
“Be
outrageous, it’s the only place that isn’t crowded”.
Anonymous
============================================
NYNVC Recommends:
Mastery In Action, March
18-20, 2004. Near Wash. DC.
Join Julio Olalla, Founder and President of
the Newfield Network
for this incredible workshop that lays the
foundational principles of
Newfield's approach to powerful
conversations and masterful living.
A perfect match to bringing NVC to
Organizations and to Corp. America!
I'll be there, have talked with Julio, and
highly recommend him!!! -- Gail
Integral Coaching for Coaches and Wellness Practitioners -
Looking for new tools, or deeper transformation for
yourself and your clients? Free phone consultation.
Lift Integral Coaching
Toll-free 1.877.535.5438
Loran Lobdell, The Yoga Studio - Califon NJ
"Come further your connection to personal awareness
and improve your health and vitality as well!"
An NVCer, Loran teaches Ashtanga vinyasa yoga, a physically
demanding form of hatha yoga that combines stretching, strength
training, and controlled breathing. Cultivate a strong body and mind,
face
life with greater ease and openness.
The Alok Holistic Health Center offers support for
body-mind-spirit growth and well being through nutrition
counseling, live-food classes, meditations, yoga, reiki,
massage, holistic parties and events, retreats in exotic
locations, and lots of celebration. For more information visit:
http://www.alokhealth.com
============================================
UPCOMING EVENTS
We have many new and fun events coming up.
Find out the event/s that excite you.
PRACTICE GROUP
and
TELECIRCLE
Coordinators sought for spring groups!
No experience needed; internet and phone only : )
914.882.9667
DANCING IN COMPASSION:
a 1-day NVC Play Date
Saturday Mar 13 - Manhattan
REGISTRATION & INFO:
DANCING IN COMPASSION:
a 2 day Intermediate weekend
Saturday Mar 27 - Troy, PA
REGISTRATION & INFO:
ACHIEVING YOUR CREATIVE VISION
NVC-based workshop for artists, writers, and other
creative people. 4 workshops over 8 weeks
Starting Monday, Mar 29th, 7:30-9:30pm
For info:
BrooklynNVC@aol.com
DANCING IN COMPASSION:
a 2 day Beginner weekend
Saturday April 3 and Sun April 4
Clifton, NJ
REGISTRATION & INFO:
MARSHALL'S BACK!!!!
For only the 2nd time in over 20 years, we'd like
to welcome to NYC the founder of Nonviolent Communication,
*** Dr. Marshall Rosenberg! April 12-18. ***
If you're not already on our invitation list, please
email
info@nynvc.org with your email
address and
phone number so that you can be included in updates!
COMMUNICATING WITH HEART-
a 2-hour NVC introduction -
Tuesday May 4th, 7:30pm - NJ
Association of Higher Awareness
Call Carol Tokar 908.630.9020 before 5/1
or Lew 973.509.7376 after 5/1
COMMUNICATING WITH HEART-
a Full-Day NVC Play Date and Potluck -
Saturday May 8th, 11am-4:30pm
Bernardsville, NJ
Bring a dish to pass!
Call Carol Tokar 908.630.9020 before 5/1
or after 5/4
DANCING IN COMPASSION:
a 2 day Play Date weekend
Saturday May 22 and Sun May 23
Ithaca, NY
REGISTRATION & INFO:
============================================
WHAT IS NVC?
Would you like to -
Be heard and understood?
Respond differently when you’re angry?
Strengthen your relationships at home, in love, at work?
End power struggles and heal unresolved issues?
"Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective
tools to foster health and relationships. This work
connects soul-to-soul, creating a lot of healing."
-- Deepak Chopra, "How to Know God"
"One word that came up ... - Clarity."
-- Venkat G., MD, Manhattan
============================================
NEW COMMUNITY FEEDBACK
"Here's what I love about Gail Taylor: She has an extraordinary gift for
communicating compassionately and doing deep personal and group
work that is joyful and powerful. She creates safe space for healing
and rich connections, and she's a lot of fun!"
"I feel
lighter and buoyant as a result of the work that we did.
Joseph and I
intend to continue to work with what we gained."
"Dear Gail, Thank you for going into the cavern of my heart
and reading from the book I could not get to open."
Kelly Bryson, author of "Don't be Nice, Be Real"
Toll free 858-277-LOVE (5683)
Would you like your feedback included?
============================================
Thanks for reading.
Thanks for allowing us to share with you.
Always happy to hear your feedback.
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Copyright (c) 2004 LIFT International. All
rights reserved.